Dream 6/27/18

I sometimes think I should have a sub-blog of just dreams. Before I begin last night’s dream I actually want to somehow turn this into a story. It is a really good idea, and I swear I’d seen the idea in a movie before.

A few things, I dreamed I was a time traveling draenei (a race from World of Warcraft), that the angel in my dream (actually Lucifer) had the face of Sam Winchester but he wasn’t wearing white. The character Jack (an actual character from Supernatural) was not the son of Lucifer but the son of Spock (yes, from Star Trek) but still had special powers, and the space ship I give him is the U.S.S. Enterprise but it is the Enterprise XII-D. The city we go to in the end is named Tyrael (where Lucifer now lives) and named after his dead brother. (Yes Tyrael from Diablo.)

The dream starts off I’m entering the City of Tyrael which is post apocalyptic, and supposedly the only city remaining in a destroyed world. I meet up with Tyrael (who is actually Lucifer and I don’t know this who is the leader of the city) tells me I need to get Jack a spaceship in order to save the human race. He tells me which one, the U.S.S. Enterprise and gives me to ability to travel through time. I select the last model that would ever be made the Enterprise XII-D. I am able to shrink the ship down until it is a model I can carry. (No Starfleet were injured in this, haha.)

Then I’m back at my grandparent’s farm (a real place in real life). I’m there with Jack and another woman (nameless, faceless) who is apparently in Starfleet cause before I give the model ship to Jack she takes it from me and points out that the ship is impossible. There isn’t an Enterprise XII-D only an Enterprise X. I try to explain to her that I traveled through time and took the last one that would ever be made. She gets a little sad with the knowledge that 12-D is the last one ever to be made.

The farm comes under attack by raiders and I give the ship to Jack, telling him he now has what he needs to save humanity. He says he doesn’t know how to use it. I go to make it full sized for him, and suddenly I’m struck with an arrow that kills me.

I wake up in a square pit faintly illuminated by torches. A bone cuff is around my ankle and a bone chain connected to a ring on the sandy floor. I’m surrounded by others including Jack and the girl from Starfleet. A disembodied voice informs us that we’re dead and in Hell.Our sentence is to fight, gladiator style with each other until only one remained standing. I’m chained next to the Starfleet girl but Jack is further away, several people/creatures chained between us. Weapons appear around us. I’m given a spear, the Starfleet girl a whip, Jack a dagger, no two are the same. Must be twenty people/creatures (I say creatures but they’re alien races) in the pit.

The first battle takes place, the Starfleet girl dies though I attempt to protect her and take a blow to the chest (not fatal) and Jack survives. When the losing people/creatures die their bodies disappear. I get a little suspicious. Between the first battle and the second, I am held down and one of the demons cuts into my skin in my chest and pulls out a small green orb. I recognize it as a tracking/communication device for draenei scouts. The demons destroy it. After that I’m patched and bandaged, but the inkling that something isn’t right grows stronger, especially after food appears. After we eat (sandwiches and salads) the next battle is announced and the difficulty increased. Square holes that seemingly are abysses but glow with purple light open in the floor. Some are not able to get away in time and as they fall into the purple light, they disappear in a purple glow. Some of them the purple glow only takes part of the person, leaving bloody arm stumps, leg stumps, torsos seared in half, half of someone’s head. The battle begins, and finally it fully dawns on me that we’re not dead, this isn’t Hell, and the disappearing after dead is teleporting. The body parts being left behind is the person not being entirely on the teleport pad. I convince Jack to jump into one of the holes and he does.

We wake up in dark room full of people, more people than were in the original room to begin with. It dawns on me we’re on a spaceship, and we didn’t die but were kidnapped by aliens. Jack still has the model Enterprise and I make it full sized, we load the people/creatures onto it, blast our way out of the other spaceship and the only place I know to take them is Tyrael.

As the refugees exit the ship I see Tyrael at the entrance of the city and he thanks me for saving these people. I suddenly have a realization that he’s actually Lucifer and he gave me to these aliens who kidnapped us for their sport. He doesn’t deny it, but informs me I’m not actually a draenei, but a succubus. Then I woke up.

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Let’s Talk HTC and it isn’t Good

When we changed up our service provider from T-Mobile to Sprint, Russ insisted on getting the HTC U11 while the rest of us got Samsung S8s. So Russ cracked his screen. We called around the screen repair places, most said a couple of days for about $200+. Russ called HTC maybe they would do better and it would seem to. They said 10-15 business days $189 for a screen repair. The time length was because we had to ship them the phone then they ship it back.

So for that first 15 business days Russ used our son’s phone, when it was suddenly obvious after contacting HTC several times that the phone would not be returned in 10-15 business days or even 20 or 30 business days, Russ bought and older cheap phone to use while waiting on his U11 to come back.

Three months! HTC had the phone for three months! However the wait was over, the phone was shipped back, claiming the repair was done. Russ took it immediately to Sprint to activate the SIM card and Sprint says this U11 (which we bought through Sprint and are paying on still) isn’t compatible with their service. After further digging, the phone isn’t compatible with anyone’s service provider. 😮

We’ve contacted HTC 6 times in 2 days. Every time it is a different story, a different excuse, but none have offered a solution to our problem. We have an HTC U11 that is basically a tablet now, that we’re still paying on, and can’t even sell because it doesn’t work with any service provider.

I need to ask Russ how the 6th contact attempt went because the 5th was enough for me to start complaining about HTC on social media. The lady on the phone asked for Russ to check the serial numbers and IMEI number from several different locations. She constantly had us on hold and repeated the same statements. It was rather robotic and I questioned if we were speaking to a human at all. Finally we had had enough, Russ asked to speak to her supervisor and her response was, “No, I cannot do that.” He asked again, incredulous and again she said no. So we asked what is to be done about the problem. She says the next step is someone from HTC will call him within 24 to 48 hours. 😣 Wait? What? What kind of company is this??? Why can’t you help me? Why does it seem so hard to just get the phone fixed from a mistake HTC made?


Absolutely the worst customer service I’ve ever encountered. People were completely useless. I’ll never buy another HTC product again and I’ll be damn sure to tell everyone about my experience.

#MeToo Mom of a Depressed Teen

I used to air my dirty laundry (to a degree) on this blog. The idea of this blog was to be sort of an anonymous truth and usually ugly truth of the things that happen in my life. If you look back 2 years ago I was having huge problems with my coworkers at a fast food joint. However today is to really talk about my daughter, J14, and how I feel like I’m failing her as a parent.

I read books about teens and depression. She came to me in January and said she was having not only suicidal thoughts but was beginning to dwell on them long enough to come up with a couple suicidal scenarios. Now I did not want to be one of those parents (and this is not a strike at any parent) who had a child commit suicide and be saying: I had no idea! If only they had come to me!
The reason I mention this is because my parents were almost those parents. In the 5th grade I had written my suicide note (5th Grade!) and it was discovered by a student who sat next to me, took my note to the teacher and I swear the only help I got was from the school. I had weekly sessions with the school counselor, who firmly believed my problem was rooted in bullying, and I was bullied, but really I was trying to get away from my sexual abuser and at 11, the only way I knew how was to either run away (which I attempted multiple times) or just kill myself. (A side note: I did tell someone, not that I was depressed, but that I was being sexually molested, and the person I told… didn’t believe me. She told me to stop making up bad stories to hurt people. If she didn’t believe me: who would?) At 14 I finally did get away from my abuser, but this post really isn’t about me, it’s about my daughter. However I do have a kinship with her because she is going through exactly what I went through.

At 12 my daughter was sexually molested, she never told me, I found out when her abuser was arrested for something else, and he confessed to it. Lucky for him, he was in police custody or I would have killed him. No doubt in my mind I would have killed him, then called the police and let them arrest me. The state offered some family counseling and we attended 6 weekly sessions, but at 12 my daughter didn’t seem all that problematic with what happened to her. At 14 she really began to develop problems and I immediately got her help. I started reading books about teen depression, teen PTSD, how to be a parent of a child with depression, how to live with someone with PTSD. J14 was hospitalized for two days, and released, but no follow up therapy afterwards, no medication. Russ and I sought out a therapist for her, found one we liked and can afford. J14 likes her. However it wasn’t enough, the therapist came to us and said she needs medication and more intense therapy. We took J14 back to the hospital, she was not hospitalized but placed in an Intensive Outpatient Therapy (IOT) which is not cheap and we can barely afford. She’s still having her meds adjusted, J14 is taking Lexapro (which is not cheap) and Trazadone. She says mood wise she feels better, but she’s still having trouble coping.

From what I understand J14 is being bullied at school (when addressed to the school they said that it has to continue happening to be considered bullying 😡) She’s isolated herself from her friends and her grades are in the toilet. Which are all the things I did in 8th grade. I only did work in the classes I liked, Science and electives, and did 0 class work or homework in Math, Social Studies, English… I literally did nothing but read books in the back of English while the teacher lectured. All through school I was showing the signs of suicide (and my daughter is showing them too) but back then I had no idea what the signs were.


So for anyone who needs to know:
Signs of Suicide

  • withdrawal from friends and family members
  • trouble in romantic relationships
  • difficulty getting along with others
  • changes in the quality of schoolwork or lower grades
  • rebellious behaviors
  • unusual gift-giving or giving away own possessions
  • appearing bored or distracted
  • writing or drawing pictures about death
  • running away from home
  • changes in eating habits
  • dramatic personality changes
  • changes in appearance (for the worse)
  • sleep disturbances
  • drug or alcohol abuse
  • talk of suicide, even in a joking way
  • having a history of previous suicide attempts
I chose this list because out of all those I glanced over this one had: changes in appearance. In 4th grade my hair was down to my pockets on my jeans. In 5th Grade I cut it down to a bob below my ears. My daughter’s main symptom? She cleaned her room and got rid of things I thought she cared about (like her Build a Bear Owl). 
After saying all this: This post was originally about how do I get my daughter’s grades up. She’s almost at the point that she may have to repeat 8th grade. (I, by miracle, actually passed and went onto Freshman High School.) The worst part is I don’t know if there is time for her to do it. Last day of school is May 23rd, she has a month. 😣

I DON’T WANT AN APPLE TREE!

It is hard to keep up a blog when nothing really exciting or eventful happens to you. I’ve work a lot lately, five nine hour shifts. Did a few stupid things at work without thinking about it. One I embarrassed a manager in front of his mother, and second I embarrassed myself so bad I cried as I drove home from work. Experienced a ton of self loathing for being so stupid. See I was bitching about another cashier to a head cashier, got told by management who overheard me bitching to not talk about other cashiers. The problem was I should’ve known not to talk about my coworkers, but I did it anyway without thinking.

The other thing are the crazy customers, which brings me to the title of my post. A guy came to my register with a tree and a cart full of items. The tree had a strap around a branch with a barcode on it. I scanned the barcode, and go all the way through the process of ringing him out until it got to the point where he needed to sign. He asked me how much did the tree ring up. I honestly replied I didn’t know, once he signed I would show him the receipt and if it rang up the wrong price he could go to customer service and they would fix it.

He refused to sign for the purchase, told me to void everything. I said I couldn’t at the screen. I could not go back. He needed to sign and we’d solve the problem from there. He refused to sign and refused to go to customer service.So I restarted the computer, hoping it would clear everything out. It didn’t but I was at a screen that allowed me to show the man how much the tree rang up. I showed him: APPLE TREE $27.49.

He says, “I don’t want to buy an apple tree. I want to buy a pear tree.” I tried to tell him that all I did was scan the strap, it rang up the correct price, it didn’t matter. He reiterates that he doesn’t want an apple tree, he wants a pear tree. He then shows me the info tag on the tree which says its a pear tree. So I agree, it must be a pear tree. I told him not to worry what it rang up as. He says again, “I don’t want an apple tree. I want a pear tree. I already have apple trees.” So I call the garden center associate and tell her to bring me a strap from a pear tree so I can ring him up a pear tree. He shouts at the person I’m talking to on the phone that I’m misrepresenting him, that he wants a pear tree, not an apple tree.

So the garden center associate brings over a pear tree, and the man compares the leaves on the first tree to the second, asks my opinion. I tell him I don’t know anything about fruit trees. He eventually decides to buy both trees, makes me scan the pear tree tag twice, and remove the apple tree tag from the purchase. This took twenty minutes. He held up the line for TWENTY minutes, other customers were looking at me with pity. Once I had him the receipt he says to me, “That was an easy sale, right?” I actually thought about punching him.

What I Did On My Vacation or Nerd Raging @ Black & White

I took a vacation from April 10th to April 17th. We couldn’t afford to go anywhere and work was sorta stressing me out. I try to take a vacation from work at least twice a year. My next vacation will be in October or November. Once again probably won’t be able to go anywhere. The vacation in April is always across my wedding anniversary which is on April 14th. Paul (husband) and I had only planned on dinner on the 13th because the 14th fell on a Friday and we didn’t want to wait for food.

  • April 10th, Day 1 – We slept in, took my daughter to the dentist, cleaned and rearranged the living room and had dinner at the mall where we spent too much money on candles. Husband played FF6 (FF3 in the US) and I played Oxygen Not Included.
  • April 11th, Day 2 – We slept in, took my daughter to the dentist (she had two appointments back to back), cleaned the kitchen,  I made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. Paul played his game and I played mine.
  • April 12th, Day 3 – We slept in, cleaned the bathroom, our bedroom and then had a visit from our pest control services. I wanted them to eat leftover spaghetti for dinner, ended up having hot dogs from QT,
  • April 13th, Day 4 – Paul and I got up, went to Maggiano’s for lunch, realized we were nearly broke. I ordered shoes from Sears. I tried to get the family to eat spaghetti leftovers for dinner, wound up eating the leftover Maggiano’s. Paul played his game I played mine.
  • April 14th, Day 5 – We slept in, paid bills, and went to KMart to grab a few groceries since the only card with money on it was my Sears card. I started playing Black & White. Even though this was our actual wedding anniversary we did 0 celebrating. Paul continued his FF6 game. At the end of the evening we started watching the TV show Once Upon A Time.
  • April 15th, Day 6 – Paul’s vacation started 2 days before mine and ended two days before, so he went to work. I played Black & White all day. When he came home, we watched Once Upon a Time and I insisted everyone have leftover spaghetti.
  • April 16th, Easter, Day 7 – I couldn’t afford to drive to visit anyone and stayed home with the kids and played Black & White. Paul came home from work and we watched Once Upon a Time. I totally nerd raged at my game over losing 8 hours of progress.
  • April 17th, Day 8 – Played Black & White.
So I got all the way to Land 5, which is the last land. Your Creature is cursed. He shrinks, gets weak, and turns the opposite alignment as you. Well until Land 5 I was a Good god. So my Creature turned Evil. I tried to win at it as a Good god, but when looking at walkthroughs most just say kill everyone in the village so it turns neutral and then drop a missionary in. BOOM you got your village. Well doing this turned me Evil.
Now I had the auto-save turned on, and dealt with its long saving and often saving. After I took my 3rd village, leaving only 2, the game crashed. No big deal, auto save, yo. It put me back at the END OF LAND 4. 😠 What really pissed me off was it kept my Evil alignment and my Creature’s cursed form, tiny, weak, and Evil. 😡 So I tried to start a new game. IT KEPT MY EVIL ALIGNMENT! So I tried to play Creature Isle which is the Xpack for Black & White 1. Even though I OWN Black and White and the Xpack (purchased when it was newly released) I never played the expansion because I never beat the original game. IT KEPT MY EVIL ALIGNMENT IN CREATURE ISLE! So in the end I just deleted my old profile and started a new one. I’m on Land 2.

My FNAF 1 Jump Scare

Has some recording difficulties, the in game sound didn’t get recorded and the mic was boosted too much so I’m really loud. I hope to have these figured out in the next video. Please enjoy.