I’ve always had problems with friends. Well friendships. Look at my Facebook profile and I’ve got more than 60 friends now. On Facebook my best friends are two guinea pig people and a role playing person. (People get upset with you too if you’re not labeled as a bestie.) The problem with Facebook is my besties on FB are in Texas, Belgium and New Hampshire. It isn’t like I can call them up and say, “Hey lets go to lunch or hey come over for dinner.”
My husband, Paul, is my best friend. Out of all the people I’ve had in my life, he’s the one who has tolerated me the longest. 14 years he’s put up with me. I strive to be a low maintenance wife and I’ve no problem with giving blowjobs. Maybe that is why he’s been with me so long. 🙂
I’m seriously a lonely person. I try to explain this to people and they tell me they usually only have one really good friend, but other than Paul and his brother David, I don’t have any good friends. I’ve really no bestie, other than Paul, to talk to. Well I’ve got you dear blog, but I doubt you’ll tear up a box of tissues with me. I’m not going to try to blame others, I know the fault lies mostly with myself. I’m a terrible friend. I’m friendly, kind, helpful, willing to listen and offer advice, but I’ve never been able to hold onto friends for long. I don’t make the effort to keep a friend, and they don’t make the effort to keep me as one. They all drift away and now that I’m older it is harder to make friends because most people already have good friends from their youth. I’ve no friends from school. I recently began to talk to someone from my youth but I hadn’t seen her in like twenty years.
I got a job at Six Flags, I had hoped to make friends there, and right now I feel really broken hearted because the season ended and they are already drifting away. I’ve got what I consider one damn good friend from SF and I seriously feel like I’m way too clingy with him These are the times I seriously just want to give up. I’ll continue my hermit existence, reading books, writing novels, and playing World of Warcraft.
I go through life trying to be the best person I can be, and I’m sitting here crying at a keyboard.