Only once did I have a large list of friends. I was heavily playing a game called Cafe World and we basically had these friend rings that would send items and help with quests (i.e. your friends needed to visit your cafe and stir your food) but when that novelty wore off, I deleted all the friends I didn’t know and since then my list has been less than 100 people.
I culled my list from those who I thought were my friends to those who actually seemed to be. I sent everyone on my list a message through Facebook that just simply said, “Hi, how are you?” I gave everyone 2 weeks to reply, since I accept that not everyone is on FB every day or multiple times a day.
The results were really surprising. About a 30% of my friends didn’t reply at all (and I booted them from my friend’s list, and was surprised to see that two or three tried to add me as friend again) the rest mostly replied, “Fine,” and that was it. End of conversation. Only about 10% of my friends asked me how I was. It is common courtesy to ask how someone is doing!
I did the experiment again. This time at New Years, but I sent everyone on my friend’s list a message saying, “How are you spending your New Year’s Eve?” I tried to phrase it so I wasn’t sounding like I was asking to be invited to a party or trying to invite someone to a party. Very few replied back at all, and almost no one asked me what my plans were.
My friend’s list has grown a little, most are coworkers, a few family, and the rest are my friends I’ve met through the internet through role playing or WoW or even the dog groups I belong to.
I have 71 Faccebook friends, and to me being friends on Facebook is about still being able to be friends and keep up with each other even though we’re unable to get together personally. Now having said that…
Years ago I had a coworker friend me on Facebook. She was a late teen, and did all the late teen things, had parties, slept around, trash talked everything. Since she invited me to be friends, and I accepted her request, when her stuff, mostly photos, showed up in my News Feed I liked and commented on them. She replied to one of my comments with: GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE.
Then why did you friend me on Facebook!!!
I’ve always been that way. I like (or now with the whole range of likes) but rarely comment. It is because I’m afraid that my input isn’t wanted. Over the years I’ve started commenting, sharing stories again until I came across a post that my comment had been removed from. (You can delete comments others make on your posts. I’ve had to delete a couple of extremely distasteful or racist comments my brother has made.) What surprised me was this was a sharing of a Tumblr post about how hard it is for poor people to save money. I commented about how true this had been. My husband got a raise and I had to get a job to afford the increased insurance premiums. She deleted my comment.
What I really don’t understand is why? It wasn’t offensive, it was just me saying I agreed with her post and adding an anecdote. Guess it is time to rethink my friend’s list again.
However I’m going to mention a quick pet peeve. I really hate those post that say, “I’m seeing who really sees my posts, like the post, comment how we met and then copy and paste on your wall so I can do the same for you!” I actually “Unfollow” people who post those.