ENFP

So I took a personality test, I’ve taken several. I know I’m an extrovert, but I was more curious to what kind of extrovert I am. I am an ENFP, which apparently only makes up 7% of the population.

What is an ENFP? Well that means Extroversion: I enjoy meeting and talking to new people. Intuition: I enjoy possibility, theories and big ideas. Feeling: I make value-centered, people oriented decisions. Perceiving: I am spontaneous and keep my options open.

Here is a more indepth guide:

I totally accept that I am an ENFP.¬†16 Personalities – ENFP¬†After reading this guide it was so much like me that I found it creepy. It also says so many great things about ENFP’s that it actually saddened me because this personality has a drawback. I often find myself outcasted, misunderstood and undesired. Most of this is from workplaces or coworkers. I’m referred to as annoying, and when I addressed this problem with management I was asked if I was being overly-friendly. What world do we live in where kindness in unwanted?

So this thing went down at work that made my last two days of work miserable, I contacted management, had a meeting and basically what I got from it was: Keep my niceness to myself.

People can change, but we’re talking about my core personality, what makes me, me.

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Let’s Talk August

So I’ve been blogging even my personal thoughts and feelings, usually shit reserved for my ink and paper journal. The thing is I’m not worried about defending myself from haters (don’t have any yet, or fans for that matter) because I accept that people are gonna hate me. Take work for instance, there is a girl at work who hates me. I’m not sure why, but when I discussed it with a manager he told me she has hated me ever since I was called in on my day off to close the dining room and dining room was dead but drive thru was busy and I didn’t help her in drive thru, I was in fact talking to manager, I wasn’t talking shop, just socializing and and because of that she’s hated me ever since. We don’t socialize, she never addresses me by name (which I brought up recently to her) and I don’t ask her for her manager override abilities (which she has gotten mad at me about also) and I generally avoid her.

However let’s talk August.

2016 has been almost as bad as 2015. Of course in 2015 I was suicidal, hospitalized, and diagnosed with depression . I lost a job I loved, lost almost everyone I called friend. In September the police broke down the door and raided the house, put everyone but Jacqueline in cuffs, and searched the house. My brother in law who lived rent free for 2 years was caught downloading child pornograpghy and molested my 12 year old daughter.
So when I think that was it. We’d managed to survive. 2016 comes and Paul gets a raise. We lost our eligibility for state assistance with insurance for the kids. So instead of paying  $28 a month, we now pay $230 a month for insurance for the kids. April we discovered we had bedbugs. Borrowed money to have them treated by an exterminator.
Computer’s motherboard fried. Paid $200 for a new one, it fried again. Bought a used truck for Paul to drive since the Chrysler is getting high in miles. The used truck has been sitting at my brother’s for a month. He says now the engine is knocking really bad. Paul’s Chrysler is now idling heavy.

Then on top of everything I’ve discovered our entire house has no ground. None of the outlets have grounds except the one in the laundry room where the washer plugs in. Not the kitchen or bathroom outlets, NONE of them. I tried to call an electrician to find out how much it will cost to ground some outlets. I replaced the 2 prong outlet our computer plugs in with a GCFI outlet and then plugged the surge protector into that.

However a silver lining is that the computer has been fixed as far as we know, and the Explorer is finally done, and Andrew turned 16 this year on the 24th, and we aren’t as broke as I thought we’ve been.

Computer Broken

My motherboard fried on Wednesday. Hopefully it’ll be fixed this weekend. I can’t blog like I want to from the phone. Got a huge rant about house ownership to blog about.

No Man’s Sky or Why Can’t I Sprint or AutoWalk???

So I saw the trailer for No Man’s Sky after a friend of mine said he just bought a PS4 just to play No Man’s Sky. Well the trailer is fantastic looking. Looks like World of Warcraft but in space exploration and no other players (even though I’ve heard they are there).

I usually don’t pay full price for games (except WoW, bought all those expansions at full price, pre-ordered even). Fallout 4, DOOM and XCOM 2 were all bought for around $30 each. I paid the $60 for No Man’s Sky and I love it, found it totally worth it.

The landscapes are lovely, the ship even looks sexy, you have to explore and collect items. The planets are huge and I love the fact you can feed the wildlife. The game is addictive because I want to explore more and more, I want to be able to buy better starships. I also want to try to encounter another player. The game is very immersive.

Sunken Outpost

However the game has a few faults that really bug me. You WALK, no sprinting. If you want to travel faster, get in your ship. On my starting planet I needed a blue mineral to repair my thrusters and was forced to walk 5 minutes to the node, and 5 minutes back to the ship. I really wouldn’t complain this much if the game had an auto-walk where I didn’t have to hold down the W key for 5 minutes straight!

I also got lost in a cave system for an hour… I was trying to find animals, and figured there might be some cave critters.

The other fault is the tutorial kinda sucks. ATLAS is the tutorial and thank goodness I chose the ATLAS route because even with the “tutorial” I was still lost, asking my friend who is much further along in the game than I am things like, “Where do I find antimatter?” He says you craft it. I explain I don’t have the recipe and I don’t know where to get it. He asks if I’m doing the tutorial, I asked, “What tutorial?” It really isn’t obviously a tutorial, more like a string of quests that are vague. A tutorial should teach you how to play the game.

I read another blog post about No Man’s Sky and they said that people have already beat the game. I didn’t even know the game could be beaten. I assumed it was infinite exploration and survival. Apparently to beat the game you reach the “Center.” It is gonna take me months to get there. I’ve been playing for 3 days, and only on my 3rd planet.

My Experience with Racism

I normally don’t touch the sensitive or controversial subjects but what happened at work yesterday has totally got my panties in a bunch.

I was called a racist.

When I confronted the girl who called me a racist she said it was a joke and I took it the wrong way. I informed her it wasn’t right to joke about racism.

I work in fast food. I was working fries yesterday and the problem with working fries is the battle between drive-thru and inside orders. I do the orders in order. So the first order on my screen is a drive-thru order that I’m waiting on fries to finish cooking to finish up. The girl comes over and asks where are her fries. (She is assembling inside orders.) I said, “Drive thru is first.” I suppose I should’ve said, “Drive thru’s order is before yours.”
She looks at me and says, “That’s racist.” I was totally stunned. I didn’t even know what to say or do.
“Why would you say that?” I asked her.
“You think dive-thru is better than me.”
“What?” I’m just flubber-knucked. I then point to my order screen, “This is drive-thru, this is you.”
“Oh.” She says.
“I can’t believe you would say that about me. I’m offended.” I state and she walks away. Now I didn’t ask her to apologize, or even tell management. It is my right to be offended. Like Steve Hughes says, “What happens when you get offended? Well, you get offended.” So I cried a little, abandoned my station to tell my husband. Got yelled at my management for abandoning my station. I didn’t care at that point. Really didn’t want to finish my shift.
That was when the girl kept trying to tell me it was a joke, and I told her that she did not need to talk to me unless it was related to the station I was working at. I don’t tolerate being around people who insult me.

So a few things about why I’m upset over this. I was raised racist. I was raised that anyone non-white/non-Christian/non-heterosexual were inferior to whites. My family’s racism was more towards African-Americans and after 9/11, towards Muslims. My family are strong believers that the South will rise again, and are Confederate flag waving rednecks. My brother at one time wanted to be in the KKK. It wasn’t until I got older and married and had children that I didn’t want them raised like this. So I never pointed out race to my kids. I remember my son trying to tell a story about his friend at school. My aunt asked him what was the friend’s name. It was something unusual and my aunt asked if the friend was black. My son didn’t understand the question. My daughter was best friends with the Muslim girl down the street and even wanted a hijab like her friend.

I do not believe that one race is better than another, I do not believe that one religion or sexual orientation is better than another. I believe in equality.

Facebook Friends

Only once did I have a large list of friends. I was heavily playing a game called Cafe World and we basically had these friend rings that would send items and help with quests (i.e. your friends needed to visit your cafe and stir your food) but when that novelty wore off, I deleted all the friends I didn’t know and since then my list has been less than 100 people.

I culled my list from those who I thought were my friends to those who actually seemed to be. I sent everyone on my list a message through Facebook that just simply said, “Hi, how are you?” I gave everyone 2 weeks to reply, since I accept that not everyone is on FB every day or multiple times a day.
The results were really surprising. About a 30% of my friends didn’t reply at all (and I booted them from my friend’s list, and was surprised to see that two or three tried to add me as friend again) the rest mostly replied, “Fine,” and that was it. End of conversation. Only about 10% of my friends asked me how I was. It is common courtesy to ask how someone is doing!
I did the experiment again. This time at New Years, but I sent everyone on my friend’s list a message saying, “How are you spending your New Year’s Eve?” I tried to phrase it so I wasn’t sounding like I was asking to be invited to a party or trying to invite someone to a party. Very few replied back at all, and almost no one asked me what my plans were.
My friend’s list has grown a little, most are coworkers, a few family, and the rest are my friends I’ve met through the internet through role playing or WoW or even the dog groups I belong to. 
I have 71 Faccebook friends, and to me being friends on Facebook is about still being able to be friends and keep up with each other even though we’re unable to get together personally. Now having said that…
Years ago I had a coworker friend me on Facebook. She was a late teen, and did all the late teen things, had parties, slept around, trash talked everything. Since she invited me to be friends, and I accepted her request, when her stuff, mostly photos, showed up in my News Feed I liked and commented on them. She replied to one of my comments with: GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE.
Then why did you friend me on Facebook!!!

I’ve always been that way. I like (or now with the whole range of likes) but rarely comment. It is because I’m afraid that my input isn’t wanted. Over the years I’ve started commenting, sharing stories again until I came across a post that my comment had been removed from. (You can delete comments others make on your posts. I’ve had to delete a couple of extremely distasteful or racist comments my brother has made.) What surprised me was this was a sharing of a Tumblr post about how hard it is for poor people to save money. I commented about how true this had been. My husband got a raise and I had to get a job to afford the increased insurance premiums. She deleted my comment.  What I really don’t understand is why? It wasn’t offensive, it was just me saying I agreed with her post and adding an anecdote. Guess it is time to rethink my friend’s list again.
However I’m going to mention a quick pet peeve. I really hate those post that say, “I’m seeing who really sees my posts, like the post, comment how we met and then copy and paste on your wall so I can do the same for you!” I actually “Unfollow” people who post those.

Review: Into the Wild

Into the Wild
Into the Wild by Erin Hunter
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

About halfway through the book I put it aside and just said out loud, “This book is really strange.” Of course it took till 3 quarters through the book for it to really enthrall me. I understand that there were a lot of pretense to set up, and even if I didn’t know this book was the first in a series, I could tell from the writing and plot development that this was intended to be a series.

It wasn’t a bad book. I admit I borrowed it because it was a short read and it was about cats. I did read the first chapter of the next novel in the series and it actually reads as if it was meant to be a much bigger novel, book two literally begins as if it was the next chapter in the first book. The only character that I really became interested in was Yellowfang, and I sort of thought Spottedleaf was gonna be a love interest for Rusty.

In the first book we learn almost nothing about the other clans except why they are named what they are named except the Thunderclan (I can only assume it is because the Thunderpath borders their territory.) I think I would’ve liked to have been introduced to the warrior code more, and learned more about the other clans, without having to read the rest of the books in the series.

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