I don’t consider myself an empath. Like psychics I don’t believe they exist, but if they did I would almost consider myself one. An empath, not a psychic, psycho for sure, but not a psychic. However, along with ghosts and aliens, I’m opening minded, and haven’t seen either, so if someone could prove to me they were a psychic or an empath, I would be made to believe.
I’ve always considered myself passionate. I care about things and people and stuff. I also cry very easily. I cry when I’m insulted, I cry when bad things happen to strangers, I cry at commercials, movies, songs and video games. I cried at the end of God of War 3. My husband says, “Why are you crying? He was an asshole!”
I’ve never been able to figure out or read body language well, can’t tell if people are lying or not unless I know the truth before they lie. I’m a trusting soul, and very forgiving. However I’ve always picked up on emotion. Not that I can tell someone is sad or angry, but often I feel it too. Let me give an example:
A girl and I did not get along at work. She has a bad attitude. She was recently talked to by management and told to get a better attitude. She didn’t like me because she said I was calling her racial slur (I wasn’t) just because I knew she didn’t like it. Well suddenly she had a great new attitude. She was friendly, she said please and thank you, she addressed me by name. I even commented to management about her turn around. I hoped that now we might be able to be work friends. One day I came into work and she wouldn’t talk to me. I could just feel it coming off her, and I asked her if she was alright. She just turned away from me. So I let a few minutes pass (I was gathering up courage) and I could already feel the the tears coming. So I told her that if she was upset with me, I was sorry, and that if I do something that upsets her, she has to let me know. (By this time I was crying.) Because if she’s upset then I’m upset. She says she just has a lot on her mind.
Let’s talk about Brett, Brett is my favorite employee at the fast food company I work for. He is so many times wonderful. He’s extremely quiet, and when he does speak, it is usually in hushed tones. He’s like a severe introvert at work, but I asked him if he was as introverted at work as he was with friends and he said no. I make it my goal to tell him things that will make him smile or shake his head in disbelief. When I asked if he would miss me when I quit the fast food job he said yes that there will be 1 less person around who actually works. I took that as a huge compliment. Anyway, Brett gets angry easily. He has a temper, and I’ve seen it, he’s never taken it out on me, but he’s been cruel to some cooler doors, and boxes. So last Sunday he’s angry, I can feel it. However unlike where the girl was upset and I was upset too, I don’t get angry. I feel his anger, but I turn it into avoidance and attempt to try to diffuse his anger.
He was angry several nights ago over the fact he had to close grill and back room. So I offered to go halfsies on grill with him. He cleaned the chicken grill and fryer filters and I’d do the rest. He agreed and it calmed him down. On Sunday he was having to close inside sandwiches and back room, so I went to him again and said I’d help him. (Once again, his being angry was bringing me to tears, but I didn’t cry.) He told me no, he wasn’t going to close the sandwich station the way that management wanted. It wasn’t fair that he was the one who always had to close multiple stations.
Of course after typing this out and trying to explain what it feels like to feel something from another person. It is probably just all inside my head, and I just worry myself to tears, but I so often take it upon myself to make others feel better or to not feel alone or to just let them know that I know how they feel.