Should I Just Make Shit Up?

My biggest problem with maintaining a blog or journal is not that much crap happens to me… on a regular basis. In the past I blogged about the all the ill treatment at my last job, but right now my job isn’t bad.

I work in a big box store at the customer service desk and my only really complaints are how hard it is to get my co workers to  pull an item awaiting pick up or picking an item for an internet order. Getting someone to load anything heavy. Also I dislike closing with one particular head cashier who is unbelievably negative. Then there are the clopens. Did one yesterday, got another next week.
Been working on a mandala jacket:
This one is of my own design again. I liked the colors of the yarn, but I really should go get a dark color yarn or a neutral one.
I still can’t get less than 140 lbs.
I haven’t really tried any new recipes. I did however put up a window film on my daughter’s window, who was late to school this morning. Perfect attendance until I finally tell her she’s responsible for getting herself up on the morning. (She’s 13.)

Dream 1/15/17

So I dreamed the zombie apocalypse happened and had happened several years or even generations ago. There was a legend that someone had discovered a way to reverse the zombie plague (turn zombies back into people) so a group of people research the person who created the cure, and then much like a zombie DaVinci Code discover where the guy hid the cure or rather where the instructions to the cure were hidden. So the group of people sacrifice everything, even not worrying about companions being bitten because once they get the cure, they’ll be able to turn people back.

So they find the final resting place of the cure (a public bathroom hidden in the toilet paper dispenser) and open the container that should contain the instructions for the cure. It is in fact instructions on how to build an ark to save humanity. (I dunno if it was to send humanity to another planet or just put them in cryostasis and wait until the zombies die off.) See the legend began as this guy had a way to save humanity and over time people thought it was the cure for the zombie plague.

Dream 1/14/17

Dreamed the Sims was a VR type world (think the movie 13th floor) where you could walk among and interact with your sims. Well I told my favorite sim, a middle aged black man, that I was a player and him and his world were just a computer simulated game. He referred to me as the Creator. I grant him immortality and that causes him to become obsessed with death and the death of the sims in his town. He collects their obituaries. He meets a young girl, and befriends her, but she realizes eventually as she grows up that he doesn’t age and begins to think he is Death because of his noticeable obsession with it. My favorite sim falls in love with her and wants me to grant her immortality so they can be together. I inform him it was a one time gift.

We travel back and forth in time and we notice that his computer simulated world is going to end in an apocalypse (I think a meteor was going to hit). My favorite sim asks me to travel back to the present, grab the girl he’s also fallen in love with, and bring her to the future and put her on this rocket I created that was sending the sims to colonize another virtual planet or something. Even though the apocalypse was not going to happen during her lifetime, my favorite sim wanted her on this rocket. So I oblige and she wants my favorite sim to come with her.

And I woke up.

Turnip Amigurumi

Been needing a turnip crochet pattern to make a mascot for my blog.

HappyHooker's Blog

G Hook

Cotton yarn in Purple, Ecru, Green


SC – single crochet

INC – 2 sc in same stitch

DEC – Work decrease over next 2 stitches in front loop for invisible decrease

CH – chain

SL ST – slip stitch

Note: Join each row with slip stitch. Do not work in spiral.

With Ecru, Ch 7

R1: Sc 6 in 2nd chain from hook. (6)

R2: Sc around (6)

R3: (Sc, inc) 2x (9)

R4: Rep R 2 (9)

R5: Inc around (18)

R6: (Sc, inc) around (36)

R7: (Sc 2, inc) around (54)

R8-9: Rep R2 (54)

Switch to Purple

R10-11: Rep R2 (54)

R12: (Sc 2, dec) around (36)

R13: (Sc, dec) around (18)

R14: (Sc, dec) around (12)

R15: Dec around (6)

Switch to Green

R16: Rep R2 (6)

R17: *(Sc, ch 10, sc, ch 10, sc) in first st. Skip next st. ** Rep…

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I started with this pattern: Crocodile Stitch Adult Hat It was confusing. I thought they were gonna do photo steps all the way, but nope, they stopped the photos when I needed them the most such as in how to decrease the beanie. So then I tried to go ahead and wing it, my beanie wound up too small. I discovered I had decreased too much, too quickly. Then I went ahead and tried to figure out their patten and when I decreased the way they did, my hat was not as symmetrical as my winged version. So I decided to redo the hat, using my ideas, and just add more rows of scales before decreasing.

Here is my pattern:
We’ll be using chain, slip stitch, double crochet, front post double crochet. You’ll also need a yarn needle to bring the ending hole closed once the crocheting is done. Pick your yarn, and then whatever needle is suggested. I used I Love This Yarn: Pastels and an H hook.
The rows will be discussed in prep and scales.
Chain 72 (a scale is 4 stitches, so if you need to make the hat bigger or smaller add or remove in multiples of 4). Slip stitch to make a ring. Now their pattern has you go around once with a hdc, or you can just jump in and set up your prep row. When you’re ready to start your prep row, you chain (ch) 3, then double crochet (dc) in the same hole as the ch 3. Ch 1 (you’ll always ch 1 after every dc), skip 1 stitch (st) and dc, ch 1, dc, ch 1, dc in same hole as the previous dc (st should look like a V).

You’re going to continue this until you reach your ch 3. The V st will be your scale, and the single dc is your anchor post so your scales lay flat. Your last st should be a post before your sl st to the top of the chain 3. Ch 1.

 Now we’re done with the prep row, time to start the scales.

 You’re going to front post double crochet 5 times around the ch 3 post. When you’re done with the 5 dc you should be at the bottom of the post.

Now we’re going to do 5 dc up the dc we did after we chained 3. Then you’re going to slip stitch (sl st) around the anchor post.

Congrats, you’ve got one scale made. Now to do this until you’ve anchored to the last post and should be back at the beginning of your scales. Once you anchor your last scale, ch 3, dc in the same st, ch 1, we’re gonna do another prep row just like the last one, instead of using stitches, we’re gonna use the scales to help up prep. Each scale should be between two scales of the previous row and each post in the center of a scale. So once you’ve done the ch 3, dc, ch 1, your next dc will be in the center of the scale below it. Chain 1, then dc in space between the scales, ch 1, dc in same space, ch 1.

Then put on your scales.

Put on as many rows of scales as you want depending on how slouchy you want your beanie. The first time I did this, I only put on 3 rows before decreasing and my beanie looked like this:

It looked lovely, but it didn’t fit on my head right, and I couldn’t pull it down to cover my ears, and reminded me too much of the top of an acorn. The blue beanie at the top of this post is my 3rd beanie I’ve made, and I put on 6 rows of scales before decreasing. With the beanie I photoed for this post I also put on 6 rows, but 5 would’ve been fine too:
So up to you how many rows of scales before you start decreasing, cause when we start you’ll be ready to close the end hole after 4 rows.

The decrease! So you’ve got your 5 or 6 rows of scales, this prep row will be a little different, we’re gonna skip some scales. So you’re going to ch 3, dc in same st, ch 1, dc in the center of the scale below, ch 1, dc in the space between the scales, ch 1, dc in the same space, ch 1, (like normal, but once you’ve prepped 4 scales, count the scales below, so you should have a V that needs an anchor post, instead of putting the anchor in the center of the next scale, you’re going to skip that scale and anchor in the next scale in line.) So every 4 scales we’re gonna skip one when building the prep row. Don’t skip the last scale before you join the prep row.
(Now I feel hypocritical, I complained about how the other pattern didn’t have decrease photos, and I noticed that when I posted my photo, I’d made a mistake in it. It shows the skipped scale, but the skip is wrong, it should be a V, then skip a scale so the post goes in the center of the next scale.)
This photo is incorrect.
Not sure if you can see this. By my index finger is the scale, see how it anchors to the center of the next scale? I took this photo after finishing the hat.
Next prep row, we’re gonna do the same as we did before, but now you’re gonna set up for 3 scales, and then skip a scale. Add scales as normal.
Next prep is 2 scales, skip a scale. Add scales as normal.
Next prep is you’re gonna skip every other scale. Should be just 4 scales.
This photo might help show the scale skips.See, post, V, skipped scale, post.
When you tie off your project leave a long tail. You’re gonna thread this tail through a yarn needle and sew the small hole closed.

Stitch around the edge, and then you’ll pull it closed.
Turn the hat inside out and tie off the yarn.
Enjoy your beanie!

Creations By Turnip

My daughter made this for me. I asked her to draw me a turnip. She did a wonderful job. I’ve decided to go ahead and start selling my crochet work. I opened a shop on Etsy, $0.20 a listing. They ask for you to list about 10 items, you don’t have to, but they suggest it. I’m slowly going to try to work up to 10 items to list. I need to buy some alpaca yarn and make a pair of gloves and a hat, I also need to write up and photograph the making of the hat. I’m selling my crochet, but I’m giving away my patterns for free.

Creations By Turnip


I have never made a crochet pattern before so bear with me. I’m going to try to over simplify it because I want beginner crocheters to not be afraid of this pattern. It is easy, it is fast. You need to know how to chain, slip stitch (slst), single crochet (sc), and double crochet (dc). I didn’t use the best yarn for photos, but this pattern is how I made those gloves and the pattern is ambidextrous, so you just do the pattern twice.

See here is where it gets weird. Pick out the yarn you want, look on the package for the recommended hook, and that is what you use. I used Lion Brand Shawl in a Ball Soothing Blue, with an H hook. 1 ball made 2 pairs or 4 gloves.

To Start: Chain 24, then slst to make a ring. This ring will be around your fingers, add or subtract 4 stitches (basically 1 scale) to make it bigger or smaller.
Round 1 & 2: Sc in all the st around.
Round 3: The next rounds are divided into what I call scales and preps. You’ll always do a prep round and then put the scales on the prep. Ch 3, dc in the same st the ch 3 came from, ch 1, skip 1 st, *dc, ch 1, skip 1 st, dc, ch 1, dc in same st, ch 1* until you reach the end, which should have a st to skip before sl st into the ch of your ch 3. You have now set up what I call the scales and anchor posts for your scales.

Round 4: The scales. On the first post, 5dc down the post (the ch 3) then turn your project and 5 dc back up the other post (last rounds first dc) then sl st to the next dc (the stand alone one, the anchor post).
Repeat until you have put scales on all the V dc. Once you anchor the last scale, ch 3, and do a prep row and a scale row. Your anchor posts will always be in the center of the scale below it, and the next scale posts in between the scales.
The first set of gloves I made I did 3 rows of scales then put in the thumb hole, the second set I did 4 rows of scales, then added the thumb, I prefer this, but keep sliding your hand into the glove to see how many rows of scales your want.
The Thumb Hole: When you get to the prep row you want to do the thumb on, instead of ch 3 to start the next prep row, ch 10. Then you’ll slst into the center of the next scale.
Then sl st along the edge until you reach where you’d normally make 2 dc for a scale, ch 3, dc, in the same st and ch 1 (basically how your normally start your prep row.)

Then prep as normal until you reach that ch 10. In the same st as the ch 10 started in, dc, ch 1, dc, ch 1.
Now dc in the ch 10. Normally I sort of picked a middle stitch and dc in the st, but I found it looked nicer if I dc on the ch 10 as if it were a post. The photo is from before I decided to do it. See how the st pulled up?
Ch 1 and sl st into the ch 3 at the beginning of your prep round. Add scales as normal. When you get to the ch 10, the dc you placed in it was an anchor post for a scale, once the scale is anchored, ch 3 and start the next row of prep and scales.
Prep and scale until the glove reaches desired length, tie off and weave in ends. I hope this made sense. I really want people to enjoy these gloves.